Damnit, I missed a once and a lifetime opportunity!

Note to Microsoft: When The volume is off, we can only guess.

Phallic Much?

I'm beginning to seriously wonder just what the hell it takes to be a marketing executive for Microsoft.

First off, they decide to compete with Apple's quirky "I'm a Mac" ads by having a millionaire and a billionaire (Seinfeld, Gates) roam the middle class countryside like 2 drunken nobles, popping in on 'subjects' to viscously savor their economic superiority over whomever they encounter. This tone deafness couldn't have come at a worse point in our economic history, and the ads were more than frowned upon by the American people.

The pointless and ire-inducing Microsoft ads featuring Jerry Seinfeld and billionaire founder Bill Gates reminding you how much of your time is wasted using the all too fallible operating system have been withdrawn from the airwaves. The ads featured the two in everyday situations that were meant to show that Microsoft is hip and approachable but just managed to come off as lame.

Now they seem to have mimicked their original marketing incompetence by unveiling their mediocre "Bing" search engine with an ad campaign that is either a full frontal assault on people afflicted with Schizophrenia, or simply an ill conceived attempt to squash the benefit of holistic thought.

In its new ads, Microsoft has people scurrying around acting as if the random interconnectivity of search results is some sort of mental illness; when In reality, what those people are doing is demonstrating knowledge. The ad goes so far as to call Bing a "cure" for "search engine overload." Sadly, "SEO" is what the people of Microsoft are mistaking knowledge for these days.

Worst of all, with a tag line like "The world's first ever decision engine," these geniuses decided to imply that because we are all a bunch of committable sickies, we need a search engine that makes decisions for us, which means to me, Microsoft has spent enormous amounts of money creating an automatic George W. Bush machine. Maybe Bing 2.0 will play a "I'm the decider" sound-bite when we click the magnifying glass. One can only hope.

Microsoft has perpetually reflected an absolute tone-deafness with its products and its supporting ads. I haven't even delved into the "Chandler" anomaly; but still... The worst feeling a person can get from an ad is one of inferiority; especially when the products the company is showcasing are so irrelevant that it has to create a bogus 'condition' to prop its irrelevant features on. If only executives got fired these days. We'd probably see some really neat and useful stuff from giants like Microsoft. Sadly, yacht payments seem to prevail.

We know what we're looking for when we use a search engine. To some of us, those little extras we find on the way are golden. If sifting through involved picking up a 50 lb. box and moving it across the room, I could totally see it as a problem. But alas, it doesn't. Therefore, I've fired up my own decision engine and set it for Google.



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If it's Saturday, it's Running Douche

I was upstairs, so I didn't get the full ham & egg shot.

Friggin' Hilarious

And a bunch of good advice to boot.
from Web Designer Depot.

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The Thing About Green:

I disagree with Mr. Cole: It is about them, but an often isolated and vilified population should know that the world is watching.

When Mr. Cole says:

If someone can give me one legitimate piece of evidence that wearing green boxers is going to help bring democracy to Iran, so help me I’ll wear plaid from head to toe and shoot for world peace.

~Balloon Juice

He is implying, himself that Democracy needs "bringing" to Iran.

It does not. It will not. Iranians are clearly taking action towards their own individual rights. Therefore, I believe while "greening" does not help "bring" democracy to Iran; it serves as a powerful global message to Iranian citizens that we are watching and hoping for the best.

I agree that yes, it is about Iran, but still; why do we sponsor children in Brazil, send local emergency personnel to disaster areas in other states, or, mail Tastycakes to those who suffer from living too far away from Philly? I want someone to know that I care, so, I greened up not to apply; but to amplify.

Running Douche Immortalized in our First Entry.

Right now, we're sitting here, looking out the window @ "running douche," who graces our window every morning by stopping, bending over, and presenting a pressed ham and egg pose directly at us as we try to have our coffee.

There's a giant field to either side of our house. Still, Running Douche always ensures a show.

Anyway...

I have big plans for this blog, so please check back.

In the mean time: God bless you, Running Douche. May the inseam rise with you on your journeys.